"Microhell!"Abandoned for New (Better) Story Idea

So Microhell! has gone the way of most story ideas - all the way to the back-back-burner. Probably never to see the light of day, but hey - c'est la vie.

The primary catalyst for this idea was the shoes the lady sitting next to me was wearing on Southwest Flight 2665 from Oakland, California to Salt Lake City, Utah last Tuesday morning, but looking back there were several things that also contributed.

But all of that is really beside the point. I present for your consideration - my new story (in screenplay format).

INT. SHOE STORE - MORNING

CHUBBY sales clerk trying to reach a shoe on one of the upper shelves on the display wall that looks like it is about to fall off, but it’s barely out of reach. A bell rings as someone enters the store. CHUBBY stops what he’s doing and rushes over to help the newly arrived customer.

CHUBBY

Hi there! And hooooow can I help
you today?

MUSCLE

Well, let’s see. I’m looking for something tall.
You know, with some height.

CHUBBY

All right. Okay. Something tall.
(Looks around the store)
How about this?

CHUBBY holds up a basketball high top shoe.

MUSCLE

Naw...You have anything taller?

CHUBBY

What about this?
(Showing him a biker boot)
This is pretty tall.

MUSCLE

I was thinking something more along the lines of...

MUSCLE starts eyeing the walls intently while CHUBBY still has the boot in hand. CHUBBY quickly gets rid of the boot, eager to find MUSCLE the perfect shoe. Camera locks in on men’s half boot that is right at the end of the men’s section. Hand reaches for the boot, but bypasses it. Camera adjusts to show that he is actually reaching for the super high heel right next to it.

CHUBBY

Oh.
(Eyes VERY wide.)

MUSCLE

You have this in my size?
(Inspecting the shoe.)

CHUBBY

(Bewildered.)
Um...I'll be right back.

CHUBBY comes back with two boxes and hands MUSCLE the shoes.

CHUBBY (CONT'D)

Not sure if they're going to fit...

MUSCLE looks very excited and sits down to try them on.

MUSCLE

Perfect! Now, do these have good ankle support?

CHUBBY

Ummm, (fake smile to deadpan) I wouldn’t know, sir.

MUSCLE uses CHUBBY as a brace to stand up, grunting a bit at the effort, which makes CHUBBY even more uncomfortable. He stands up and looks at himself in the mirror. We hear the door open and bell ring again and hear footsteps approaching.

MUSCLE

What do you think, honey?

CHUBBY turns around and does a double take.

Slow camera pan up to show a towering woman smiling down.

WOMAN

Muuuuch better...

CU of high heels facing flat shoes in profile. Cut to faces that are on the same level.

MUSCLE

So THAT’s what your eyes look like? Haha!

They kiss. Cut to them walking away towards the cash register. MUSCLE loses his footing.

WOMAN

Careful there!
(As she grabs his arm to steady him)

CHUBBY looks both ways to see if anyone is watching and then grabs a pair of high heels himself. He puts them on, reaches up and fixes the shoe he couldn’t reach before the customer came into the store.
The End.

(Optional Epilogue)
After credits roll, CHUBBY walks past SKINNY who is standing behind the cash register. SKINNY hears and sees the high heels that CHUBBY is still wearing.

SKINNY

Uh, what are you doing?

CHUBBY

A man’s gotta do...what a man’s gotta do.
(As he walks towards camera, shoeboxes in hand)

Micro-hell!: Fleshed Out Treatment

Kitchen – morning

Empty dog bowl with the name Moses written on the side. Dog with cross on his collar runs around in circles waiting for whatever his master is frying on the stove. We see that his master is a priest (Father Melton) and that he is frying a burrito in the pan. We can see the street outside the kitchen window.

We hear a car stopping and zooming off and then we see a microwave sitting by the side of the road where there was once nothing. Father Melton goes out of frame and we next see him coming through the door of the kitchen with the microwave in his arms. Moses sniffs the cord.
Father Melton plugs the cord in, and puts the burrito on a plate, and wipes his greasy fingers on his clothes as he places the plate in the microwave, presses a few buttons, hits start and the machine whirs to life. (Does something religious-related while he's waiting? Praying maybe? Should I focus on priest or the dog? I could do both and show priest praying, not moving, and then show the dog doing dog things, like lying down, looking at the microwave waiting for it to finish, cross fade to him scratching behind his ear, cross fade to scratching the leg of the table the microwave is set on, crossfade to him licking himself til the “done” bell rings and he perks to attention...?)

Father Melton opens his eyes from prayer and rubs his hands together or twiddles his fingers in anticipation, presses the open door button and much to his surprise, there's nothing on the plate. He looks on either side of the microwave, then lifts it up to check under. No burrito. He then swirls around and gives Moses a dirty look, putting both hands on his hips. We see the door of the microwave shut on its own.

Father Melton swirls around and stoops down to inspect what's going on with the thing, getting closer to the appliance when the microwave door flies open and the burrito shoots out of it, ricocheting through the kitchen. Father Melton ducks, Moses barks.

Then, suddenly, the door slams shut again and the whole thing starts rattling and shaking. A very bright light shoots out in rays through the door as if a small sun was inside the chamber and we hear strange sounds like a chant (or maybe it should be laughter?) Moses jumps into Father Melton's arms and they look wide-eyed at each other, and then back to the microwave.
Father Melton pulls a crucifix off the wall, crosses himself, and holds the cross as the microwave continues to shake, fire spewing out of the chamber! Moses tries to wriggle out of Father Melton's arms, and Father Melton fights to keep him from getting loose while still warding off the microwave with the cross, but Moses manages to wriggle out.

Father Melton screams, “Stop!!” and just then the microwave dies down. The lights and noise disappear. Father Melton inspects the cross and scratches the back of his neck, wondering if it really worked when we hear Moses barking. Father Melton pokes his head around to see Moses and we see him with his tail wagging and the cord in his mouth.

Father Melton, overjoyed that not only is Moses still alive but that he saved them from the demonic microwave, outstretches his arms to Moses and Moses leaps up in his arms again, licking him all over.

Outside of the house – from the street

We see the microwave flying out of the window, landing and settling back in the place where Charley originally found it.

We then see a passerby approaching the microwave. He picks it up, puts it under his arm and continues on down the street.

The three prong electric plug on the end of the dangling black cord suddenly comes to life, turning into the pointed end of a devil's tail.

The End.

Microhell!: Synopsis Update

So I've read it aloud and it clocks in under a minute, so I think I'm okay. I'll just have to see what my mentor thinks of the idea...

“Microhell!”

by Kenshi Westover

v.4

Synopsis:

A priest named Charley is cooking his breakfast on the stove with his dog, Moses, waiting expectantly for his share of the food, when he sees a car dropping off a microwave by the side of the road in a hurry. He brings it into the house (excited that he won't have to slave over the stove anymore) and tries cooking his food in the microwave instead, but when he goes to take out the food, it's gone.Suddenly the microwave shakes, emits light, and we hear wicked laughter. He tries every incantation or exorcism trick in the book, but nothing seems to work. Moses sees what Charley is doing and that it's not working and tries to go towards the microwave but Charley holds him back. Moses gets loose and pulls the plug out of the wall, which causes the microwave to stop. Charley throws it out the window and it lands in the same spot he found it. Some unsuspecting passerby picks up the microwave and takes it, and we see the cord turn into a devil's tail.

Short Film Idea Update: Microhell!

So, I made a few changes, trying to streamline a few things. Let me know what you think.

“Microhell!”

by Kenshi Westover

v.3 (Changed: microwave from white to black, had Charley getting the morning paper instead of taking Moses for a walk,

Synopsis:

A priest named Charley finds a microwave on the side of the street. The microwave is possessed and ends up acting very strangely. He gets scared and tries hexing it, not thinking to just unplug the thing, which is exactly what his dog (Moses) does. Charley throws it out the window. Some unsuspecting passerby picks up the microwave and takes it, continuing the cycle all over again.

Fleshed Out Treatment:

Once upon a time there was a priest named Charley.

Every morning he would walk outside of his house, get the daily newspaper, go back inside to the kitchen, go to the freezer, pull out a frozen burrito and fry it on his electric stove. He has a dog named Moses (who jingled along with a cross dangling from his collar) and once the burrito was done, he would cut exactly a fourth of the burrito off and put it in Moses' bowl, and Moses quickly devoured it.

But one morning when Charley went to fetch the paper, he heard a sound in the bushes on the side of the road, just off of the driveway. Upon closer inspection, it was a black microwave. He thought for a second, deciding what he would do, and the quickly scooped the microwave up in his arms and walked back into the house.

This time, instead of frying the burrito, he put it on a plate and stuck it in the microwave. He said his rosaries while it was cooking. Moses sat by the microwave with tail wagging. When it dinged, Charley pulled out the plate and turned around to get silverware, and once he turned the microwave shuddered a bit. Charley turned around, but it had stopped. Moses just sat there looking up at him with blinking eyes. Charley shook his head, figuring he was just hearing things.

The next morning, though, when Charley heard the ding of the microwave, he opened the door of the microwave and there was a plate, but no burrito. With a furrowed brow, he turned away from the microwave to confront Moses.

Then a sound like someone preparing to hock a loogie came from behind Charley and a burrito shot out of the microwave like a bullet almost as if the microwave was spitting, hitting Charley in the seat of his pants, causing him to jump 3 feet in the air. Then, suddenly, the microwave started rattling and shaking. Charley and Moses looked wide-eyed at each other, and then back to the microwave which was emitting a strange light and the sound of laughter getting louder and louder.

Charley quickly made a cross with his index fingers trying to ward off the appliance, but it just kept laughing and shaking even louder and harder! Moses, nonplussed, trotted quite casually towards the microwave and went behind it. Charley covered his eyes, unable to witness what was certain to be poor Moses' untimely death. But Moses just grabbed the electric cord of the microwave with his teeth, yanked it out of the wall, and the silly thing stopped making all that ruckus.

To prevent this kind of thing from ever happening again, Charley hucked the microwave out of the window. It rolled down the hill a bit and landed in almost the very spot it was where Charley had found it.

Not more than a few moments passed when a passerby going on HIS morning walk saw the microwave, picked it up, put it under his arm and continued on down the street.

The three prong electric plug on the end of the dangling black cord suddenly turns into the pointed end of a devil's tail.

The End.

Short Story Ideas for my Short Film

Rebecca Stockley (www.improvlady.com) held an improv workshop for AnimationMentor Class 5 students this week and it was just what I needed! She taught us lots of games to help get our creative juices flowing. I had been experiencing horrible writer's block because I was frantically trying to come up with incredibly witty and funny and smart stories for my short film, but all that was coming out was boring, predictable, flat, and only mildly amusing at best.

So, yeah, i starting writing at around midnight, i think and didn't finish til 2 am (way past my bedtime), but i had these chicken burritos for dinner tonight and cooked them in the microwave, and "ding" - the seed of a story popped into my head. So instead of letting the fire die out, I started playing the games she taught us, just by myself (Reincorporation, Betty Plum, and Story Spine) to develop it and it kind of took on a life of its own. I felt like I was just along for the ride! And before I knew it, it was 2 o'clock in the morning. I was having so much fun, I totally lost track of time.

How bizarre that so much richness can come from making associations with the obvious (instead of trying to bang down Genius' door...)

So, without further a do, here are the fruits of my labors, using all three games Rebecca taught us TOGETHER (I know, I'm getting crazy here!!) I came up with:

“Microhell!”

by Kenshi Westover

v.2 - 4.14.06 (changes from this afternoon: made Charley just a priest instead of a superstitious priest, changed the dog's name from Kibbles to Moses – thanks Rachel Ito!, and tried a new ending as per Taylor Mahony, Rachel Ito, and Rosie Varela's input after pitching the story to them, also thanks Rachel for the tail idea...)

3 Images (Reincorporation): A burrito, a microwave, and a priest.

“Betty Plum” game: Charley Melton – a 35 year old Catholic priest, loves routine, lives a very simple modest life, always wears his priest garb to remind him of what is important in life, he's never been married, has never had a girl(or boy)friend, his dog Moses is his best (and only) friend, his favorite thing to watch on TV is the Lawrence Welk Show and I Love Lucy, he lives in the past, he's too opinionated and a little self-righteous so he never gets invited over for Scrabble, he's never had a spiritual experience but wants to have one really bad, loves Mexican food, especially frozen burritos because they are cheap and he only likes eating hot and salty foods, he became a priest because he wasn't very good at math, he loves puns and he snorts when he laughs too hard, he lost his parents at a young age and has a hard time letting people into his life because he's afraid of losing them – dogs are a different story.

Story Spine:

Once upon a time there was a priest named Charley.

Every morning he took his trusty dog Moses (who jingled along with a cross dangling from his collar) for a walk down their street in the hills, and once they got home, fried a frozen burrito for breakfast, giving exactly a fourth of the burrito to Moses, who didn't much care for frozen burritos, but he ate it anyway.

But one day as Charley was going for his morning walk, he heard a sound in the bushes. Upon closer inspection, it was a white microwave. What made the sound, Charley had no idea, and didn't really care. He scooped the microwave up in his arms and walked back home with Moses in tow.

Because of that, he now had a microwave to heat up his frozen burritos with and Moses liked the “ding” sound the microwave made when it was finished “cooking”. But after Charley pulled the cooked burrito out and turned around to get silverware, the microwave shuddered a bit. Charley didn't notice, but Moses sure did and barked, but Charley just shushed him. What do dogs know anyway?

Until finally, the next morning, when Charley heard the ding of the microwave and went to take his daily burrito out, there was nothing inside the microwave. With a furrowed brow, he turned away from the microwave to confront Moses about the missing burrito as if he would tell him even if he HAD taken it.

Then a sound like someone preparing to hawk a loogie came from behind Charley and a burrito shot out of the microwave like a bullet, hitting Charley in the seat of his pants, causing him to jump 3 feet in the air. Then, suddenly, the microwave started rattling and shaking. Charley and Moses looked wide-eyed at each other, and then back to the microwave which was emitting a strange light and then there was the sound of laughter getting louder and louder.

Charley didn't know what else to do, so he made a cross with his index fingers trying to ward off the appliance, but it just kept laughing and shaking even louder and harder!

Amid all this chaos, Moses quite casually trotted towards the microwave and went behind it. Charley was certain poor Moses would meet his untimely death and covered his eyes. But Moses just grabbed the electric cord of the microwave with his teeth and yanked it out of the wall, and the silly thing stopped making all that ruckus.

To prevent this kind of thing from ever happening again, Charley hucked the microwave out of the window. It rolled down the hill a bit and landed in almost the very spot it was where Charley had found it.

Not more than a few moments passed when a passerby going on HIS morning walk saw the microwave, picked it up, put it under his arm and continued on down the street.

The three prong electric plug on the end of the dangling black cord suddenly turns into the pointed end of a devil's tail.

The End.

The moral of the story is? Your thoughts? Please comment with ideas!

Thanks!